comfort.

My life has been crazy. Or at least I am pretending it is. I am trying to make it crazy because I go back to school in less than two weeks. I want to see everyone and visit as many local places as I can.

I am seriously acting like I am never coming back. Now it's not like I don't love to see people. I always have to hang out one last time to say my goodbyes and give my love. That part, I will probably never change. But eating at every local restaurant or my favorite store one last time? I could probably do without that...

I slowly realized today that a lot of this has to do with where I am at in my life. I am going to be a junior in college. As the kids I babysit say, OH PICKLES. Next summer, I'll hopefully be getting a big girl job, and if not, then I will definitely be getting one the following summer. I am slowly losing the days of my youth...where I can take long walks throughout the neighborhood with Amber every night, meet people for coffee whenever I want to, eat ice cream with my parents every other night, crash my old dance studio's classes and babysit four loving children for my income. My role in my town, in my family, and with my friends is slowly changing. 

And really, it is because MY life is changing. I am slowly turning into an adult, and while I am more than ready to continue on with my life there is a comfort about home that can't be explained unless you have felt it. There is a comfort of doing the same summer activities and sitting at "the wall." There is a comfort of snuggling up on the couch with my mom on hot afternoons to watch a lifetime movie. There is comfort in hanging out with friends who no matter what has gone on your life, still love you. There is comfort in the corn that we grow in our fields. There is comfort in local restaurants with people who remember what you usually order. The concept of home and everything that goes on around it is comfort. I am afraid that as I lose my youth, I will also lose all of these comforts.

I wish that every time that I come home, these things would and will continue on. But, they won't. People continue on with their lives and my parents probably won't be living in this farmhouse much longer. So for today, I am going to enjoy all of these comforts. I am going to continue on making my last few summer days in PA as crazy as possible. I am going to spend it with people I love the most and doing things I love the most. And maybe I will continue to eat(ice cream of course) and go to all of the places I know I will see at Christmas time and next summer. 

And I will try and make my comforts of my youth last as long as they possibly can.