comfort.

My life has been crazy. Or at least I am pretending it is. I am trying to make it crazy because I go back to school in less than two weeks. I want to see everyone and visit as many local places as I can.

I am seriously acting like I am never coming back. Now it's not like I don't love to see people. I always have to hang out one last time to say my goodbyes and give my love. That part, I will probably never change. But eating at every local restaurant or my favorite store one last time? I could probably do without that...

I slowly realized today that a lot of this has to do with where I am at in my life. I am going to be a junior in college. As the kids I babysit say, OH PICKLES. Next summer, I'll hopefully be getting a big girl job, and if not, then I will definitely be getting one the following summer. I am slowly losing the days of my youth...where I can take long walks throughout the neighborhood with Amber every night, meet people for coffee whenever I want to, eat ice cream with my parents every other night, crash my old dance studio's classes and babysit four loving children for my income. My role in my town, in my family, and with my friends is slowly changing. 

And really, it is because MY life is changing. I am slowly turning into an adult, and while I am more than ready to continue on with my life there is a comfort about home that can't be explained unless you have felt it. There is a comfort of doing the same summer activities and sitting at "the wall." There is a comfort of snuggling up on the couch with my mom on hot afternoons to watch a lifetime movie. There is comfort in hanging out with friends who no matter what has gone on your life, still love you. There is comfort in the corn that we grow in our fields. There is comfort in local restaurants with people who remember what you usually order. The concept of home and everything that goes on around it is comfort. I am afraid that as I lose my youth, I will also lose all of these comforts.

I wish that every time that I come home, these things would and will continue on. But, they won't. People continue on with their lives and my parents probably won't be living in this farmhouse much longer. So for today, I am going to enjoy all of these comforts. I am going to continue on making my last few summer days in PA as crazy as possible. I am going to spend it with people I love the most and doing things I love the most. And maybe I will continue to eat(ice cream of course) and go to all of the places I know I will see at Christmas time and next summer. 

And I will try and make my comforts of my youth last as long as they possibly can. 

joy.

Last night I went back to my dance studio to take class. I haven't been there to dance since last summer.

The contemporary class is the one I mainly took all throughout high school a few nights a week(besides tap). I was so excited to see everyone, but not terribly excited for the amount of soreness I was going to feel.  The humidity was also probably at 120% meaning I was literally sweating my face off. I also went to ballet class this morning. Yes, Ashley and ballet....I was worried too. I haven't taken ballet since I was hmm 8? It was awesome though. Very standard ballet class...and I didn't do half bad.

 However, now my body is literally screaming at me. The contemporary class lasts about an hour and a half. The first hour is called stretching and strengthening. It is a combination of deep stretches plus abs, some arms and whatever else they wanna throw in for the week. It felt so good, but I knew I would be feeling it later. I need to start stretching more at school.

 It was so nice to come back and dance though. I remembered why I loved to dance so much. When you dance, you can let go of everything. It was also nice to come back and dance as almost a visitor because there was no pressure on me. I wasn't there to impress anybody, I was just there to dance. 

I also absolutely love my teachers. I have known them for most of the life and they have helped shaped the women I am today. 

Something I've learned: Going back to something you once loved just reminds you how much joy it once brought to your life. Be thankful that you can experience that joy again, even if it is just for a little bit.

things i love july 2011

1. Hummus. I'm hooked on this kind right now. I should probably learn to make my own, but this flavor is just so gosh darn good and it is so easy to just go and buy. Here is a link with recipes you can use Pine Nut Hummus for! http://sabra.com/products/Roasted-Pine-Nut-Hummus

2. Stacy's Pita Chips. I first tried this when I was sitting on children and I could not put them down. I like eating them with hummus, I like eating them plain and I really like eating them alongside a salad. Yummmy. The philosophy of Stacy's is to be basic. I love it. 

 

3. Carmen and David's Creamery. They use mostly local ingredients for their products and they always have 30+ flavors at one time and you can guarantee you will find one you like. How awesome is thatt? My favorite so far is the kiwi-lime sorbet....perfect for a hot day. Here is their website for more info =)

http://www.carmenanddavidscreamery.com/

4. Kung Fu Panda 2. The staff of the Academy went to see this movie during training week. It is absolutely adorable and very meaningful for all ages. It's all about fighting for what you believe in, finding your true self and finding inner peace with who you are and where you came from. I teared up at the end....pretty typical for me and children's movies. 

5. The new comforter I just ordered for school. I had a $25 Kohls giftcard, and it was on sale for $29.99. I found a 15% off promo code and got 99 cent shipping. Total charged to me? $3.08. SCORE. Also, it's adorable and reversible. I love it. I'll post a picture when I get it via UPS =)

tunic-afied.

I've been shopping a ridiculous amount this week. Obviously I'm not complaining. Today we went up to the Philly Premium Outlets mainly because they just opened a Vera Bradley Outlet Store. Yep, you heard me right. IT WAS AWESOME.  I was also an incredible deal shopper today.

This was my purchase. It's the Stephanie bag. 

I also got a contact case. It's super precious. 

Anyways, between today and shopping on Monday with my momma, I've obtained three tunic-type shirts in possession. The white one I'm wearing up above was today's purchase. It was originally seventy dollars and I scored it for 11.99. (I really had a great day, the lady gave me an extra five dollars off just because I gave her my email address.) 

We LOVE Vera Bradleyyyy.

The other two I got were from Forever 21 on Monday....pictured above. Anyways, the point of this post is how I learned to be comfy while looking stylish. My hips are my biggest insecurity....so why not get a nice flow-y top to help cover them up. I am more comfy throughout the day because I'm not paranoid my love handles are saying hello to the world. A tunic can also be worn in many ways...with shorts, skinny jeans, capris, tucked in, untucked, with a belt. I mean really, endless possibilities. I will probably continue to wear tunics even as they leave the fashion world...but thats gonna be a sad day for me when that happens. So do yourself a favor and go buy a tunic. You won't regret it. 

And now I might go buy myself a couple more tunics. 

you are what you eat.

One of my first posts on this bloggy-blog was about my health. Today, I would say I am about 90% healthy on a regular basis...that's pretty dang good. However, that 90% is completely based on what food I choose to put into my body. About six months ago, I started journaling what I ate and how I felt. 

I also had just gotten botox injections in my esophagus to help it take a chill pill. It gave my rough looking, acid-eroded esophagus a chance to heal. I didn't want to take it back to the place it had been, so I started making notes about food. 

Just a note, I only wrote down what I ate. I did not count calories or fat or anything. I know with my  past how addictive this can be. It was more of a "I ate this food and it made me feel like this" kinda thing.

Foods that I should at all costs avoid: red meat and lunch meat. My body just cannot simply process red meat. If I do happen to eat it (which has been like once), there is not a happy ending. Lunch meats have a ton of preservatives in them and they just don't make me feel good. I am not sure why, I should probably look into that.

Foods that I can eat sparingly: other meats like chicken and pork. If I have to eat meat(like when I am out with my grandparents and there is nothing else but a plate of lettuce on the menu), I choose these two. However, I will only eat it if it is grilled or pan-fryed. Also, foods with a ton of preservatives make me feel strange.  I usually try to watch my dairy intake as I am partial lactose intolerant but it's usually the last thing I will eliminate. 

Typically, this is how the menu goes for my day. In the morning, I make a smoothie with flavored greek yogurt, a whole banana and whatever other fruit we have lying around. I typically get three servings of fruit outta this one meal and get a ton of protein from the greek yogurt. Note: I never have and never will be a big breakfast eater. If I am more hungry I typically ate oats or granola to bulk the smoothie up.

For lunch and dinner I interchange things. The most popular things I eat are fish, spinach, carrots, roasted broccoli or potatoes, brown/whole grain rice, brown/whole grain pasta and many types of beans. 

How do I know this diet it working for me? For the past two weeks, I've been working for LeadershipNow. They get amazing food for their events, so I decided to just eat what I wanted. Most days, I would eat some what of the same things I usually do. However, others, I ate meat. I felt like crap. Alllll of the time. It's amazing how one meal can set your body off for days. 

I also don't really watch my snacking.  I've been eating foods that are more dense and typically make me more full. And, because I do so well on my meals, I give myself some slack with snacks and feel less guilty about eating them because of it. Gosh darnit, if I want ice cream, I'll eat ice cream. 

things i've learned from leadershipnow 2011

I've been part of LeadershipNow since 2007 when I attended the Academy. 

In 2008, I traveled to South Africa and Lesotho with them.

In 2009, I worked as a peer mentor for the first time.

LeadershipNow has shaped the person I am today. I could go on and on about how much the program has done for me. I would not be the young woman I am today without it. This summer, I worked as a peer mentor again. I was so excited to be spending two weeks with some of my closest friends. There is nothing like building and shaping a community around God at a place I love with people I love. It is pure happiness. Here are some things I learned or was reminded of these past two weeks. Some of them are funny, some are serious...and some are just in between.

1. Teamwork don't seem work.
2. If you hold expectations for people, they will live up to them. If you think they will fail, in your mind they will. If you think they will do great, in your mind they have.
3. Preconceived notions about people are not always true. Sometimes they do step up to the plate and do a fabulous job.
4. After a stressful week with lack of sleep, stupid pranks can make the heart and soul better.
5. Watching a person experience God or the Holy is very powerful.
6. Fourteen year olds can be very profound, intelligent and passionate. Give them a chance and listen to them talk.
7. Inception cookies are probably the best things ever.
8. It is okay to be affirmed. You are not selfish or a doubter if you struggle with it. Sometimes what people see in you is what you struggle with the most.
9. People that struggle with a community socially sometimes find it the safest place they have ever been a part of.
10. When you open your eyes, take deep breaths and listen, you will hear and see things you would of never seen before.
11. It is okay to take a break when you need a break.
12. Every person struggles and has their own wounds. Take from them what you can and give to them what you can.
13. This is from Jacquie but I love it. You can love people, you can lead people, but you can't always change people. Sometimes people can only change themselves.
14. What you put into something is what you get out of it.
15. Eating Oreos for breakfast is sometimes the best thing you can do to end a special week.

I'll probably be posting more about these past two weeks as I continue to process them. It has been a time full of stress, love, eating, fun and God. What more could I of asked for?